It’s One Thing to Be a Friend…

Everyone wants to belong.

We all know what it feels like to be seen, understood, and accepted—but we also know what it feels like to be the outsider.

In this episode of the Live Faith First Podcast, Elliot Sands sits down with Parfait Bassalé, author of The Way of Befriending, to explore how ordinary people can become extraordinary bridge-builders in an increasingly divided world.

Growing up across multiple countries in West Africa before immigrating to the United States, Parfait experienced firsthand what it meant to search for home and belonging. Those experiences eventually shaped both his ministry and his calling: helping people create spaces where others feel seen, heard, and valued.

Together they discuss:

• Why belonging is a fundamental human need
• The difference between being friendly and truly befriending someone
• How curiosity breaks down barriers
• Asking better questions that lead to deeper conversations
• Why forgiveness is essential for building relationships
• The power of becoming “the unexpected friend”
• How churches can create cultures where everyone feels welcome
• Whether you’re navigating political division, cultural differences, or simply wanting to become a better friend, this conversation offers practical wisdom for building genuine relationships.

Parfait Bassalé is an author, speaker, musician, and consultant. He is dedicated to helping individuals and organizations cultivate cultures of belonging, curiosity, and meaningful connection.

Born in the Republic of Benin, Parfait spent much of his childhood moving throughout West Africa before immigrating to the United States. His own experiences of displacement, identity, and searching for home profoundly shaped his passion for helping others move beyond polarization and into authentic relationships.

Through workshops, consulting, speaking, music, and writing, Parfait equips churches, nonprofits, schools, and organizations to create environments where people feel genuinely seen, heard, supported, and valued.

His book The Way of Befriending, offers a practical roadmap for overcoming division through courageous curiosity, empathy, forgiveness, and intentional friendship.

He lives in Olympia, Washington, with his wife and three children.

Elliot Sands is the host of the Live Faith First podcast—a dynamic space where faith meets real-world challenges. With a rich background as a pastor, school principal, health-tech co-founder, and now Executive Director of Faith First, Elliot brings deep wisdom and practical insight to every conversation.  As a husband, father, and grandfather, he weaves personal experience with thoughtful discussion, tackling tough topics with clarity and compassion. Live Faith First is all about bridging divides—whether in society or the church—encouraging listeners to step beyond echo chambers and build real, meaningful relationships across the aisle, the street, or the table.

Connect with Parfait Bassalé

• Link
• YouTube
• Instagram